Today am thinking about...

Jul. 5, 2022

...from when you die, to choosing if your unborn baby should live, to whether you should pursue further medical input/procedures if you are terminal...these are some of the choices that have people rallying.

My personal belief is, though there are consequences for both "positive" AND "negative" choices, they are the choices I respect that people have a right to make.

I don't have to agree with them, necessarily;  but it is my responsibility to be supportive of the ones I care about in their decisions.

It is even okay to be angry with them about their decisions, and keep your feelings to yourself, unless asked directly - then express your feelings respectfully.

I think this is a big part of how our world has gone astray - so many have a "my way or the highway" mentality.

While I am not so naive as to say there is ONE way to solve the world's problems, realizing that we are ALL a part of the solution may be a good place to start?

Plus, agreeing that if you're not willing to be part of the solution, at least don't add to the problem? Just sayin'...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Jun. 27, 2022

I wasn't his Mother - not even his blood relative; but he, and his Sister were my "kids".

Their father told them, once, "She's not really your Aunt." As we always did about everything, when they were little, we talked about it. I explained, that while that was true, we were "Heart Related"; and NOBODY can take that away.

When she was taken, in 2010, by a drunk driver, she became a "death I will never get over". Then 11 years, 8 months, 1 day, and 30 minutes later - he took his own life, out of the "false guilt" he carried over her death.

It has been 6 months, and I am still processing it. I still have some disbelief that he's really gone, yet I know the truth. Am still in the "Year of Firsts", and doing okay. But, there is still the underlying "Profound Sadness".

While I DO understand suicidal ideation, all too well, I also struggle with the conflict that:
- why was he able to, yet he was a part of what stopped me - anger/frustration
- he left me to struggle with not only my other ongoing issues, but now the loss of him AND her - conflicted anger/sadness.

I know this won't solve anything; but it is the sharing of thoughts that helps move the healing along - and healing takes a lifetime. It's the choices you make, as you heal, that make the daily changes in your life - and in that I know I am not alone.

Always focus on what is true - that is step 1...

Love you, ALWAYS, my "Motion" and "Bud"...
Aunt Connie...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Jun. 24, 2022

...I  felt the most excitement I had felt, ever."

On that morning, I remember the excitement and anticipation I felt, as I had a full day:
- church
- graduation
- my party
- hanging with friends, later
- finishing packing for 2-week trip to California the next day

I came downstairs to the dining room all ready for a party. In the middle of the table was my cake - purple and lavender (class colors), with a yellow silk rose (class flower). My Father had stayed up all night to get it done. I cried - it was beautiful, and I was grateful.

I recently crossed into my 42nd year of being a High School Graduate. Over the years, as I have accepted certain truths, that day has become a little "tarnished".

2022 was the first year, in a very LONG time, I was able to focus on the positive memories from that day. It felt amazing - so freeing.

Someone once told me, "The process is the process, and it sucks." They were NOT wrong; but with my commitment to my healing, and learning to ask for help, these last 30 years have "turned my tide". It has NOT always been easy, but I will persevere...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Apr. 19, 2022

I was raised as a "third generation pack-rat". Also, a black-belt procrastinator. Now, I say this as an explanation, NOT an excuse.

In 1994ish, after easing into my journey to "Me", I slowed the influx of "stuff"; and I believe I no longer have every single piece of paper from my childhood.

However, I still have a LOT of stuff - and I am FINALLY, actively, working at it.

Unfortunately, my focus appears to be limited - when I am focused on one thing, strongly, I lack in other areas. The struggle IS real.

This, I believe, is fallout from my "procrastinature" - I am NOT giving up; but I know I cannot be alone in this!!!

Do you have more "stuff" than you really need, and struggle as I do, with YOUR "procrastinature"?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Apr. 7, 2022

...of getting people to calm down, have the words, "Calm down", worked effectively.

I know I have tried it, in the past; before I learned that people's feelings ARE valid, and they need to be allowed to process them.

Many people just can't handle others' raw feelings - at times, it triggers into their own; causing a "talk to the hand", "not my circus, not my monkeys", reaction.

Having actively worked on my responses to my own triggers has helped me, immensely; but am not quite there, yet. #lifegoal

Do you have problems reacting to people's "reactions"??! Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes