Today am thinking about...

Apr. 13, 2021

Some days my life feels like one of those children's toys (or a "Roomba", for grownups), that changes direction when it bumps into something. Sometimes, it flips over, too!!!

I, also, like to holler "Plot Twist!!!". Life is all about how you react to changes.

This has never been my strong suit, and it's a MAJOR fact of life; so my fighting it became a major form of contention between me, myself and I!!!

It took me years..."do something for 30 days to change"...🤣🤣🤣; but, though my first reaction is usually to "fight back", I am trying to "breathe my way through it".

"...Calm people are breathers. They take in the information, and let their brain decide if they have enough information to freak out..." - Brene' Brown on Super Soul Sunday, with Oprah.

I have heard about breathing, yoga, meditation, etc, for years; but this one "clicked", and is working. At least for about the last month.

I feel confident I have had another major growth spurt!!!

Remember, when you stop growing, changing, and evolving, you're pretty much dead (or may as well be).

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE beamererin.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes beamererin@yahoo.com 

Apr. 6, 2021

Do I want to be that person that needs to be accepted, so badly, that I am willing to compromise MYSELF in situations where others may be "ganging up" on another person?

Not really - it leaves a pit in your stomach.

I have never really been one to "fit in", much. I have always had a few close friends; I think it's because the bigger the group of people, the bigger the drama.

Which is why, on the rarer occasions it happens, I have spoken up more. Not really to defend the other person; but to do what is right, and spread kindness. I know what it's like, from where they're standing.

I wish EVERYONE would REMEMBER that view, more. A lot of the world's problems could be gone, if more people would. I see it every day, in MY little piece of the world.

Though I AM still a work in progress ("lifer"), I am capable of working small changes into my everyday life, that will eventually add up to the big changes I need to have happen.

I challenge you to really take a look at your own life, and see if you're "Who YOU want to be"; and if not, start to make those little changes.

Maybe make yourself accountable, by mentioning it to someone you trust, what you're attempting to do. Who knows??! It may inspire them, in the process. Remember, "It only takes a spark to get a fire going...".

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE beamererin.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes beamererin@yahoo.com 

Mar. 30, 2021

Recently, I  was thrown into a moment of self-reflection. I was forced to question my very purpose - why I was where I was, and doing what I was doing.

In order to stop the "negative thoughts" I felt overtaking me, I started to list my positive attributes (plus have been pondering, since) :
- good with people
- loyal
- honest (at times to a fault - ie: please do NOT ask me if those pants make your butt look big!!!)
- a recoverering shame addict
- good writer
- positive person
- am actively working on being a better listener (awareness is the key)
- good at encouraging others
Although I still have much work to do - am not dead, yet - and still make bad choices, at times; I am worthwhile. Also, I am making the effort.

That is all we really can do - try. When we fall, get back up. Keep going.

Rest, when we must; but hotels/motels were not designed to be permanent residences. They are simply a comfortable place to rest and relax, a bit, as you're traveling. Then, you keep going on to your intended destination.

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE beamererin.com beamererin@yahoo.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Mar. 23, 2021

This goes for more than just driving...when you're interacting with other people; you have to live YOUR truth. Everybody has to live their own - no shortcuts.

I think that is where we have landed, in this time of History - we're all so offended, "my rights are...", etc; that we're going to "My Right..." ourselves right out of them.

One way to change this, is if we can all learn to "Stay in OUR Lane". We are ALL humans, and as such, should ALL be treated the same.

When you're driving, and something flies off the back of a truck, MOST people don't move out of their lane to hit it; and if it's in your lane, you move your way around it, and go on about your day.

That is the part we need to get back to - supporting our friend that lost something out of the truck, by saying, "Man, that sucks!" But we don't have to replace what he lost, right?

Like Tina Turner said:
"We don't need another Hero
We don't need to know the way home
All we want is life beyond the
Thunderdome..."

We are ALL struggling, yet we're still fighting amongst ourselves as to who's the "Hero", and who's the "Bad Guy".

As I have stated before, I may be naive, but I wish we all could be a little more naive. Believe in the good in people, and that we're all the same?

If we ALL could "Stay in our lane...", I believe the world would be better.

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE beamererin.com beamererin@yahoo.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Mar. 2, 2021

I was reading a post, on Facebook, and it brought up the question of the purpose of journaling. Are you doing it just to do a type of "brain-dump"? Or are you doing it to remember specific details of something that happened, that may need to be utilized at some point - ie - a court case involving an assault, or custody, etc?

In the post, they were discussing having someone break their trust and read their journal - ie - abusive spouse, only to use it against the journaler, in court; versus someone, like their children finding it in the future, and wondering what the heck was wrong with the journaler - ie - secrets revealed, etc.

Here are my thoughts - if you're just doing a "brain dump", do you REALLY need to save it? Sometimes, my thoughts about situations I am faced with on a daily basis, change with the day. What pissed me off on Tuesday, may make me happy on Thursday. I never know. So, saving it seems a little counter-productive for me, don't you think?

When I first started counseling, I kept two journals - that way, I could leave the latest week's journaling with my counselor, so she could get even deeper insight into what was going on in my head. She would read it, and write questions and comments, periodically; then we would switch it out, at the next appointment.

Am not exactly sure how long this went on, but I think it really helped fast-track my counseling, a bit. It gave both of us more insight into what the heck my REAL issues were; and how my brain was processing, at any given moment.

I recently found a journal from this time period, and was trying to read through it. I told her in my next appointment, "How in the heck did you keep up with me??! I got lost, and I was the one who wrote it!!!"

The moral of MY story, is, I think it's time to destroy my old journals. I may glance through them; but their usefulness is passed. I am not even the same person I was, back in the 90s. Thank God, I survived!!!

But, they DID serve their purpose; to help me stop my mind from racing as much, so I could figure out how to live, and not just exist.

I don't journal, like I used to; well, not officially. But, I think this Blog MAY be how I journal, now...welcome to my world...😉😉😉
Like I tell people, you hear what comes out - you should see what stays IN my head...lol.

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE beamererin.com beamererin@yahoo.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes