Today am thinking about...

Oct. 30, 2022

I read this on the back of someone's jacket, recently.

It got me thinking about all the changes I've made in my life, over the years.

Some changes have been small and gradual; and others have been huge and immediately impactful. Most change is hard...but usually worthwhile.

There are times, when change isn't good - just remember it's never too late to make a u-turn.

Regardless, change IS life, and this jacket just got me thinking about, and appreciating where I came from.

When you evaluate your life, and the changes made, how encouraging is it? Is it time to make some?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Sep. 13, 2022

On the evening of July 31, my life changed exponentially, with my first major surgery a few days later. Hey, I had made it to 60+.

After spending thirty days - the first two-ish weeks in the hospital, and the 2nd two-ish weeks in physical rehabilitation - I came home with a, basically, healthier body and mind, than when I entered the emergency room, that evening.

I could have let the financial woes, the physical pain, etc, take me into a very dark place - which in the past, had been my "go-to".

In contrast, I was able to meet every challenge calmly and rationally - such as advocating for myself, figuring out what needed to be done, letting the medical team do what they needed to, etc.

I didn't do it alone - I have been working hard, particularly over these last four years, to practice gratitude, with the help of my supportive circle - though relatively small, we are mighty - thank you for all of your support. I am NOT leaving out a peace that can only have come from above.

I also had my Seester, who came to see me, almost every day, and took care of Motion - the amount of driving, alone, was almost three hours, daily. For this, I will never be able to fully express my gratitude.

I am still healing - Tylenol Extra Strength is my current "verybestfriend"; but am growing physically stronger, every day.

Have you ever had something in your life that caused you to majorly change? I would love to hear your feedback.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Jul. 5, 2022

...from when you die, to choosing if your unborn baby should live, to whether you should pursue further medical input/procedures if you are terminal...these are some of the choices that have people rallying.

My personal belief is, though there are consequences for both "positive" AND "negative" choices, they are the choices I respect that people have a right to make.

I don't have to agree with them, necessarily;  but it is my responsibility to be supportive of the ones I care about in their decisions.

It is even okay to be angry with them about their decisions, and keep your feelings to yourself, unless asked directly - then express your feelings respectfully.

I think this is a big part of how our world has gone astray - so many have a "my way or the highway" mentality.

While I am not so naive as to say there is ONE way to solve the world's problems, realizing that we are ALL a part of the solution may be a good place to start?

Plus, agreeing that if you're not willing to be part of the solution, at least don't add to the problem? Just sayin'...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Jun. 27, 2022

I wasn't his Mother - not even his blood relative; but he, and his Sister were my "kids".

Their father told them, once, "She's not really your Aunt." As we always did about everything, when they were little, we talked about it. I explained, that while that was true, we were "Heart Related"; and NOBODY can take that away.

When she was taken, in 2010, by a drunk driver, she became a "death I will never get over". Then 11 years, 8 months, 1 day, and 30 minutes later - he took his own life, out of the "false guilt" he carried over her death.

It has been 6 months, and I am still processing it. I still have some disbelief that he's really gone, yet I know the truth. Am still in the "Year of Firsts", and doing okay. But, there is still the underlying "Profound Sadness".

While I DO understand suicidal ideation, all too well, I also struggle with the conflict that:
- why was he able to, yet he was a part of what stopped me - anger/frustration
- he left me to struggle with not only my other ongoing issues, but now the loss of him AND her - conflicted anger/sadness.

I know this won't solve anything; but it is the sharing of thoughts that helps move the healing along - and healing takes a lifetime. It's the choices you make, as you heal, that make the daily changes in your life - and in that I know I am not alone.

Always focus on what is true - that is step 1...

Love you, ALWAYS, my "Motion" and "Bud"...
Aunt Connie...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Jun. 24, 2022

...I  felt the most excitement I had felt, ever."

On that morning, I remember the excitement and anticipation I felt, as I had a full day:
- church
- graduation
- my party
- hanging with friends, later
- finishing packing for 2-week trip to California the next day

I came downstairs to the dining room all ready for a party. In the middle of the table was my cake - purple and lavender (class colors), with a yellow silk rose (class flower). My Father had stayed up all night to get it done. I cried - it was beautiful, and I was grateful.

I recently crossed into my 42nd year of being a High School Graduate. Over the years, as I have accepted certain truths, that day has become a little "tarnished".

2022 was the first year, in a very LONG time, I was able to focus on the positive memories from that day. It felt amazing - so freeing.

Someone once told me, "The process is the process, and it sucks." They were NOT wrong; but with my commitment to my healing, and learning to ask for help, these last 30 years have "turned my tide". It has NOT always been easy, but I will persevere...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2022YOU ****** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes