Today am thinking about...

Nov. 30, 2021

I have often referred to my healing process, by using a pendulum swing, and the face of a clock.

I started out swinging from the 1 to the 11, and back, for a very long time. Actually, in 1992, I think it was stuck on the 1; and it kept chiming the hour very loudly in my head for several years!!!

With much internal work, it FINALLY began to swing, again - though sometimes, very erratically. (What??! Pendulums can't do that!!! Mine. Did.)

Eventually, as I progressed, it swung more smoothly; and with a narrower arc. I personally think, that if your pendulum stays on the 6, you are kinda dead; so am happy to say, that for the most part, it swings from the 5 to the 7ish.

Not that I don't get my undies in a bundle, periodically, and it swings a little wider - I am still human, you know??!

But, I just keep going, trying to remain positive, learn stuff along the way - living, until it's time for my 6.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE ***beamererin.com*** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes beamererin@yahoo.com 

Nov. 23, 2021

...but do not forget to keep your brain engaged, also.

I shared this on the Domestic Violence Awareness Blog I write - BLOG LINK:
http://www.ozerministriesinc.com/421278968, recently; and it just seemed pertinent to share it here, too!!! This information can really be utilized in ANY worthwhile relationship...

NO relationship is perfect, and if you feel, or try to present that yours is; I see this as a HUGE red flag.

Here is a list of 10 red flags (***based on an article in Flux, by Abigail Brenner, M.D. - 072914***), from a 2014 article, that are just as pertinent, today.

1 - minimal communication - such as inability to express how they're feeling; usually manifests as "moodiness", or the dreaded "silent treatment".

2 - lack of basic "life skills" - such as, an irresponsibility with finances; inability to keep a job; NOTHING is ever their fault - blame everyone/everything else for their problems.

3 - inability to trust - a coping mechanism they never outgrow, when they refuse to be honest with themselves. They infuse THEIR lack of trust into most other relationships.

4 - your close friends and family just aren't fans of them - whether they're correct, or end up being wrong, listen to those you KNOW have cared about you, first; and do your own realistic research.

5 - are they controlling - it starts small - they mention that your family makes them feel uncomfortable; your bff for the last 30 years "just needs to get to know them", etc...

6 - relationship insecurities - one example is, if you go out with your friends, they don't trust that people won't hit on you, etc (while not trusting YOU to not act on that flirtation)

7 - how much of their past do you really know?

8 - move from relationship to relationship - citing their past significant was just "crazy and jealous", etc - but what, or WHO is the "common denominator?

9 - the dreaded "need to be needed" - granted everyone has a bit of that in them; but is it the basis of your relationship?

10 - are they openly abusive - I work in retail, and every day I see people being openly abusive to their s.o. My personal theory is, if they're ok treating them that way in public, what goes on behind closed doors?

Just a little bit to get you thinking...

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE ***beamererin.com*** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes beamererin@yahoo.com 

Nov. 16, 2021

(Metaphor of pulling carts)

In my job in retail, I spend the bulk of my time with shopping carts, and the electric scooters that are a convenience, not an entitlement.

People reach to grab a cart - at times, it takes more than a little pull to get it to release from it's line - you know.

Sometimes, they grab the front cart clear across the rows, before looking to me for help.

I walk over (amazed at how quickly their anger rises), demonstrate how to lift the drop-piece from the cart behind, and pull. They then point out, they "don't work with them all day, how would THEY know this". I just shake my head, as they walk away.

Some, yell at me, because they "don't want to work that hard", or it's my "job to pull them out for them", etc.

Apparently, they're just coming to my store to relax, and I have somehow ruined their day. Well...if that's all it takes?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE ***beamererin.com*** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes beamererin@yahoo.com 

Nov. 9, 2021

Ever heard those words??!

I have heard them quite a bit. Before I started my healing process, I felt ashamed; I didn't know how to answer.

Now, it's kind of a source of entertainment for me...lol. What I call my quirks, are really a part of my true self, and I have chosen to embrace them - warts and all.

As long as I'm not forcing them, to try and fit in with others; or maliciously hurting someone else, I try to be honest.

You can't worry about "tripping triggers" - yours OR anyone else's - but if you accidentally do it, once; but then, you maliciously keep "going there" - THAT'S where I see a problem. Like anything else, motivation is the key.

It's not MY job to help someone get over their triggers, or "protect them"; but their intention, I'm positive, is NOT to put a weapon in your hand to use on them. So just don't.

Because, then, they are totally justified in asking, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??!" (you see what I did, there?)

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE ***beamererin.com*** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes beamererin@yahoo.com 

Nov. 3, 2021

...of your healing process. How do you think that will work?

"Crisis mode", definitely needs to be handled, first; but after that, when you are finally able to begin to heal? What then?

I'm sorry to say, but you have to begin at the beginning - a seed, if you will. That is the only way true growth can happen; when you are finally "broken", and have exhausted all of your "shortcuts" to healing. There are none, in life-changing healing; and you are only fooling yourself of you feel there are.

Even when a branch breaks off of a tree, and they want to repair it, etc; there is the painful process of being cut, and either tied or taped onto the healthy branch until new growth begins - not an easy process. But so worthwhile.

As long as you take the "shortcuts" in the healing process, you will end up back at where you got off in the path, over and over, if you're lucky. Sometimes, you have to go clear back to the beginning.

Remember, if that happens, then you CAN build on the experience you have learned; but there is no "quick fix".

Have a good day, and be safe... #2021LATE ***beamererin.com*** #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes beamererin@yahoo.com