Oct. 10, 2014

Chaos... (originally posted 9/17/14)

Deep subject - to some people it's external, some internal, some are blessed with both, some don't seem to have any at all - don't THOSE people just drive you nuts??! I myself, tend to have mostly internal chaos - yay, me!!! Though, to the naked eye, my house may seem chaotic - it's "organized chaos", you see. It's different. It DOES get to me occasionally; but the internal is the biggie!!! A friend just posted "I really wish I wasn't alone with my thoughts right now." I soooooo understand this post - most of the time, I'm my own worst enemy. I had a friend that always used to tell me, as am sitting in a "thoughtful stupor", "QUIT THINKING!!!" I NOW have a friend who will "Gibb's slap" me & tell me to "stay off the hamster wheel!!!" Times have changed; but apparently, I have not!!! Ha, ha!!! However, the amount of times this happens has dwindled greatly. It used to be an almost every day occurence, that "stuck-in-your-thoughts-with-no-means-of-escape" feeling. Trust me, it's NO FUN!!! In July, I got on the hamster wheel, & called my friend & said, "I need to talk to you more than I've ever needed to talk to someone!!!" That night was my first "Gibb's slap" - & it worked. It's a frenzy kind of thing. Ever seen a video of a shark attack, especially a bunch? THAT'S NOT pretty, & it's really confusing, chaotic & scary. Not quite "sit-in-a-corner-&-chew-on-your-hair" scary, but darn close. Honestly, I very rarely have ONE thought going through my head - it's why I stutter, sometimes; & why I really have to focus when I'm listening to someone, or I just burst out with what's in my head, & it's off topic. This frustrates me, AND those who are talking to me. It is a character flaw I AM working on, by the way. But, I digress from the task at hand - talking about chaos. Will save that for another day - so, chaos. Again, as with alot of things I struggle with, I also try to utilize it to motivate myself. Think about how much "power" chaos holds. If we can learn to harness this, somehow, it can be a very powerful tool in our coping arsenal. Hmmmmmmm...more to think about - NEAT!!! I'll leave you with the encouragement you're not alone...have a good day & be safe...