Jan. 19, 2016

The New Year is Here...

Ready or not, 2016 is upon us. How was your 2015? Mine, though definitely NOT dull, was not really bad. I learned a lot about focus, and how I kind of suck at it - ha, ha!!!

I watched close friends go through some difficult times, and tried to be supportive. I watched some bad things happen in the world, and learned I must be aware of them; but not become enmeshed. A BIG thing I became aware of my learning just came a couple weeks ago. I had been in a perpetual state of grief for 20 years.

My Grandma died in 1995. That was the first REAL loss I had experienced. People had passed in my life; but she was the first loss of someone in my inner circle. In 2010, my Niece was killed by a drunk driver; my Father passed in 2012. I lost my Beloved dog-son Beamer in 2014.

I had also become obsessed with 9/11/01, and all that transpired on that day. I seriously thought about 9/11 all the time. It was a safe place I could place all my pain-focus, I think. Beamer helped me a lot. He was really how I dealt with it.

About a month ago, I was asked what I learned in 2015, and this just came out, "It's ok to let go." No fanfare, angels singing, etc; but I felt a weight release from my chest I didn't even realize was there. It was ok. I was ok.

Now, thus far, 2016 hasn't really been any different than 2015, suck-wise; but with my new realization, it doesn't matter. Life, as they say, does go on. Here's to the living of life...

Have a good day, and be safe...