Today am thinking about...

Feb. 18, 2020

I have a good job, safe place to live, dependable transportation, and a pretty good life.

Have been through some things in my life, that may have knocked me down a bit - but have gotten up, every time, a little stronger; honestly, am grateful for what they have taught me.

The greatest loves of my life have had four paws, and that's good. I have humans I love, and ones that love me.

As far as the question, "Am I Living My Life?" - I believe the answer is a resounding YES!!! There have been many times, I WAS just existing; but since I started "Living My Passion", of helping people where and when I can, I can honestly say I am!!!

It hasn't happened the way I imagined, or necessarily wanted it to happen - but that's irrelevant, really. The bottom line is, it HAS happened. Who knew??!

For the record, in NO WAY is my life "perfect" - that's a misnomer - nevahgonnahappen!!! Content, in spite of lack of perfection, is where it's found; often, in spite of yourself!!!

How about you? Are you LIVING your life? I encourage you to do a little introspection - I have journal prompts every day, on the JusT SpInnIng PlaTes... Facebook page, for just that reason. Please grab a notebook, or even comment on the posts, if you feel led.

Have a good day, and be safe...
#2020seeclearly

Feb. 11, 2020

I'm not so naive, as to believe that there is NO difference between my public and my private persona, per se; but honestly, a majority of the time, what you see IS the real me - as in, the "work" me, the "go out to dinner" me, the "go to a concert" me, etc.

I may prefer to have deeper conversations, and more one-on-one interaction; but I am still "Me" - true to myself. I have boundaries, and if they're crossed, we'll discuss it; but I  expect that same respect from the other person, if I cross theirs. I have worked very hard to get where I am, today; especially when it comes to my relationships with others.

A former "people-pleaser-extraordinaire", I changed, and adapted to people and situations so well, at times I didn't even KNOW MY real needs or desires. I was a chameleon, of sorts; and I was good at it - learned from the master - my Mother.

In my younger years, I did accomplish some of my heart's desires, via my relationships - one being my  approximate 7ish year (collectively) musical "career" - singing, playing keyboard, playing drums, and finally guitar, were MY choices; and I can see where God worked those opportunities out. They were an element of the real me.

Though still on my quest to self, I am able to see when I'm not being true to myself - the same feelings come back, and get me reeling, a little!!! Nobody is immune to their "old self" raising it's ugly head to let you know it's still back there - even if the only way it can stand is on crutches.

When it comes up, you just have to remember who you are, NOW - you're NOT that same person, anymore!!! It helped form who you are, today - that's why everyone has a past. So you can remember whence you came; but you can't go back - why give it that much power to get you down??!

Have a good day, and be safe... #2020seeclearly

Feb. 4, 2020

Begging the inquiry - how DO you treat yourself? Are you, and YOUR needs a priority - or are you so busy meeting other's needs and expectations, that you plan to take care of yours "when you have time"??!

Do you hear yourself??! Exactly when IS that time? Are you still only going to have 24 hours tomorrow, and the next day, etc??! (I do understand the difference if you have small children; but don't forget YOUR oxygen mask on first!!!)

When you plan to spend time with someone else, and they sort of "pencil you in", meaning they will hang with you, unless something else comes up; how does that make you feel?

I know, as I was working on my issues, especially after my Mother passed, I tried not to make many plans, especially outside of my previous commitments; and at times, couldn't even go to them - (work, counseling, chiropractor...).

I had to make myself a priority - I was mentally/emotionally unwell, and had to get better.

I try to be a cautionary tale to people I know. When I see my people not taking care of themselves, it tears my heart - and I think I get angry at them, for "not taking care of my Friend". But then, I look deeper, and it's usually of their own making - so, I get a little sad for them.

I cannot let myself become codependent, so I usually just back off. My commitment doesn't waver, just my presence. I choose to be positive, and have worked very hard to get where I am. I cannot enmesh myself in anyone's life, again.

In writing all this, as in all my Blogging, I do not claim to know it all - am DEFINITELY a work in progress. But I do have a responsibility to share what I've learned with others.

So, I ask again, do people really treat you the way you treat yourself?

Now, what are you gonna do about it??!

Have a good day, and be safe...
#2020seeclearly

Jan. 29, 2020

"What??!"

Was reading a book, recently - "Body Clutter" (a FLYlady production), and this was the title of one chapter.

I thought it was an interesting concept. Procrastination = Constipation...she is NOT wrong!!!

I am sort of a black-belt procrastinator - as well as a Tidsoptiminst (always thinking I can get one more thing done) - so, between the two, I will probably be late to my OWN funeral!!!

Normally, am definitely more of a procrastinator in the clutter area. I start to work on it, and I get overwhelmed. I'm a third-generation packrat, so I have a lot of stuff - and I stopped the influx about 25 years ago!!! Definitely, a work in progress.

There are times I do, still, procrastinate a bit in dealing with the relationships in my life. I get hurt by one person, then 3 - which may have nothing to do with each other; but then they glom all together to form one scab in keeping my feelings bottled up, causing CONSTIPATION!!!

I know how to, and that I need to, address and work on issues as they come up; but sometimes time doesn't permit it - leaving you feeling a little whiny.

I will end this here; so, until next week, I will be off working on my emotional constipation.

Have a good day, and be safe... #2020seeclearly 

Jan. 21, 2020

Once, on a retreat, we were asked to draw what our walls previously looked like, to what they currently looked like.

My drawing was a broken-down brick wall in the background; with a wire across, in the foreground.

I believe this demonstrates boundaries, perfectly. The electric fence is in place, allowing movement back and forth; but if someone steps out of line, the power comes on, with a light "zap" to make them aware. By the way, was happy with the progress, and self-awareness it demonstrated.

Honestly, I do not want "walls" around myself, because not only do they keep people out; but they trap me inside - stunting my emotional growth.

Have you ever thought about what YOUR walls look like - what they're built out of (literally and figuratively), and exactly why they're there? What purpose DO they serve?

I encourage you to take a look.

Have a good day and be safe... #2020seeclearly