Today am thinking about...

Dec. 2, 2020

The "lights", and the "action"
Are all "stalled out", now
But they're trying to "turn over"
Without "curtain" or "bow" 

We're all doing what we can
To get through all of this
With not even "high fives"
Or a hug or a kiss 

But, we cannot lose connection 
'Cause "the show must go on"
Until this is over

We must await the new dawn


When the lights WILL come back on 
And that engine WILL start
With the true connections re-tying
The strings, heart to heart 

We just have to keep going
This battle CANNOT be lost!!!
And hold on to each other
At whatever the cost 

Know that nothing is forever 
If learning nothing else, in life
And the times that we struggle 
With the toiling and strife 

That the dawn ALWAYS comes
After the darkest of the night 
And we WILL get through this
If we just hold on tight 

For even a pandemic
Cannot take away
The underlying spirit
Of knowing there's a new day 

We WILL all get through this
Though some will pay the cost
And we must carry on
To represent those lives lost 

Though it seems such a waste
There is purpose in all
But we may never know it
Until we answer that call 

That our life is complete
I've learned it's sooner, for some
Though the valiant blow
Is NEVER easy, when it comes 

Our purpose is to go on
Not let their loss be in vain
For the connection can't be broken
Even if we don't see them, again 

In this life on this Earth
I believe some day, we will
Be reunited with loved ones
And forever connected, still 

This gives me hope
Though our future seems quite bleak
And so many unseen answers
To the questions, we seek 

My Mother taught me that Faith 
Is what gets us through all
And it will get me through this
Even if I get "That Call..." 

(Connie R Jordan... completed 120220)

Dec. 1, 2020

Have you ever done this?

You're going through your life, and you consciously, or unconsciously realize that things are going well - too well. You start thinking about "the other shoe dropping", and BAM, there it is!!!

Not that it may not have happened, anyway; but your "Life Attitude", can have a dramatic influence on the overall attitudes you DO have.

People used to tell me I needed to have a more positive attitude. I lived a very long time in a strictly "black or white" type of attitude - either good, or bad happened to you. There was no room for "gray" thoughts.

One day, during a particularly "dark time" in my life, I was in a super-manic negative phone conversation with a good friend. Although she was on the opposite side of the country, I swear she grabbed ahold of my face, looked me right in the eye, and kind of screamed, "What are you grateful for??!"

Stopped me dead in my tracks. It just "clicked". I was FINALLY able to understand what people had been talking about, all those years.

Now, I have anti-negative "deflectors", if you will, in place. One really big one, has to do with my being a "Recovering Road-Rage-Aholic". I usually don't have my radio on, much, any more. The SECOND I start to feel a gripe coming on about another driver - that radio goes on, loudly!!! 

I am far from over learning all I can about this, in my life; but I will take the baby-steps true growth usually takes. That makes life all worthwhile, right??!

Remember, we can very easily be our own worst enemy - it's the choices we make, when situations come up, that can make all the difference in any case of self-sabotage.

Have a good day, and be safe... #2020seeclearly beamererin.com beamererin@yahoo.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes 

Nov. 24, 2020

Have you ever stopped and thought about YOUR "why"? Why you do what you do, in life; or make the decisions/have the reactions you do, when situations cause you to have to decide or react to something?

I, throughout my life, have seen a good bit of my Father's reactions to things in myself; but, as I reflect, I am seeing even more of my Mother's. Also, my Grandma peeks in there, periodically - lol!!! 😉😉😉

More and more, I have been coming into my own - yes, I am a bit of a "late-bloomer", at 59 - but I digress.

My writing, though both my parents wrote a bit, has gone further than theirs ever did - literally, via the internet; but I have ALWAYS fought to take a different route than they perceived for me.

They wanted college - fought that one all through high school, and beyond; I've never been one to learn ANYTHING the traditional way. Example - I took 2 years' piano as a child, just enough to learn some basics. I have written a few songs, played a little keyboard, guitar, and drums.

I have, except for a few temporary jobs along the way (and some intermittent unemployed time spend at the family accounting office) worked in the service/retail industry. I like what I do, and though I may struggle physically a bit the older I get, I DO enjoy what I do.

My writing has become a driving force for my "day job" - that, and Motion my cat likes to eat on a regular basis.

Though 2020 HAS been hard on my "CHEERFUL DISPOSITION"; my why, and commitment to myself hasn't changed. I have continued to "do what I can". I think THAT is my "bottom-line why" - doing what I can.

I encourage you, at this time of pondering and Thanksgiving, to ask yourself about YOUR "why". You may be surprised...

Have a good day, and be safe...
#2020seeclearly beamererin.com beamererin@yahoo.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes #THANKYOU 

Nov. 17, 2020

Anyone that denies EVER having felt shame in their life is not being honest with themselves, or anyone else. EVERYONE has felt a sense of shame over something; even if it was a natural reaction to something as a child.

This doesn't mean it was something that should have made you feel ashamed; just that shame was felt. That's where people fail to grasp the issue. While not everyone ends up paralyzed by those experiences; everyone's life is shaped by them. In life, many situations bring you to a crossroad - it's the choice you make, there, that defines your life-travels.

Here's an example: you're holding hands with a parent in a parking lot, and you rip your hand free and nearly get hit by a car. Your parent yells at you until you get to the car. They were traumatized, and reacted by how close they came to possibly losing you; while you were traumatized by the yelling.

No biggie, right??! However, this can affect both of you, and your relationship, for life. The parent feels like a failure because their "one job" is keeping you safe. You, again, resent their yelling at you. Choices were made in that moment - whether you were aware of it, or not.

Again, the examples can be as many, as there are people in the world; but you get my point. Shame is shame, and it doesn't need to be this giant problem if you deal with each item as it appears in your life.

This is where the problem comes in. People just let things roll by, without dealing with them. I'm a firm believer that issues you need to "deal with" keep appearing in your life, until they are dealt with. Then, while they may come up again, the feelings regarding them are totally different.

This is far from exhaustive. Do you have minor things that made you feel "shame"? I would love to hear your thoughts on this issue.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #2020seeclearly beamererin.com beamererin@yahoo.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes #THANKYOU  

Nov. 10, 2020

My life as a play may seem boring and dull

But as I live my life, I am constantly full

Of the amazing sights that I see every day

See, not everyone notices stuff in the same way

It's the finite little things that excite and amaze

The bigger stuff, often, gets lost in the haze

Of the struggles of life, that is meant to be full

With the ordinary that sets many in a catatonic lull

I choose to make special the life-daily drudge

While others seek "Special", afraid they will smudge

The perfection they think others see in their lives

While we're really ALL, often, just trying to survive

We need to SEE more of the Ordinary Life

I think it could help with some suffering and strife

That many struggle with and silently dread

And could cure many issues that are stuck in the heads

Anxiety, depression, these are all the results

It's not the Darkness, many claim, that comes from the Occult

Many are unable to live life as it is

Because ordinary life, means "having never lived"

In the eyes of the loud voices, that seem to be leading

And influencing, at times, irresponsibly - seemingly weeding

Seeking quantity, over quality - this is not a healthy way

Each has the choice to live THEIR life to THEIR fullest, every single day

So I choose to remain ordinary, and happy where I am

Until that day, when I am gone, and I no longer can...

Connie R Jordan... 110720
#2020seeclearly beamererin.com beamererin@yahoo.com #JusTSpInnIngPlaTes