Midnight Ramblings...
Happy is the way I am trying to be
But when I look inside, sad is all I see
How can I be how I do not feel?
"You have to choose" - but that's not real!!!
Tears down my face at the darnedest times
And why, you ask? Love, my only crime
Trying not to burden those I love
To just be strong, and rise above
But annoy myself with the way I feel
Trying not to give my supports a raw deal
Being bummed all the time, feeling like a pain
No matter how sunny it is, all I see is rain
And for every step that I think I've made
I feel I fall deeper into this shade
I feel like the cartoon with a cloud over me
There's sun all around but I cannot see
Through the deluge overtaking my life
The constant turmoil, pain and strife
Feels hopeless most times, like it will not end
And all I want to do is talk with a Friend
And the cycle begins like an endless loop
I talk, feel like a burden, and more like poop
I just hope people know how hard I'm trying
To be happy, and not always feel like am dying
But if they looked inside, little pieces fall off
While others grow weary, and begin to scoff
"When you get up each day, choose happiness"
Ok, I guess am happy I feel such a mess?
Not looking for pity, just process a lot
Try to fit in others needs for me, but cannot
Be anything but real, and who I am
Like mentioned, a loop, giant feelings crammed
In a little box - Feelings 101
Not right for me, ok for some
As I ramble I process, may get there, one day
But for now, here I sit, and all I can say
Is I'm sorry, and thank you, and sorry, again
My goal in life is not to be a pain
Connie R Jordan... 091618
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