The Conflict...

How I feel is how I feel

It's not a choice, just being real

Don't like it here; but what I do

A part of me, like wearing shoes

When I go out, or I stay in

There is a constant sad within

The thoughts don't stop, have NO control

They go down into my very soul

"Change your thinking, it works", they say

But feels like a lie - game I cannot play

Wearing on my Friends, like a burden, feel

Sometimes around, sometimes under the wheel

Of life - just go on with mud on my face

Til I get home, and to my place

Of rest, feel like that's all I do

Is sleep - it's hard to force myself to

Interact with others - feel a need to explain

So I go, and pretend, then just home again

Don't know if it's "healthy", don't really care

Just don't like how I feel when I honestly share

And it's negative, though, how I really feel

Most people can't handle when I'm really REAL


Connie R Jordan...  091618