If You Were Still Here...

If you were still here what would my life be

Would I have grown into the true, real me

That still struggles with memories, but perseveres and goes on

Some days I feel like am running a con

I try to feel happy, but it just isn't there

Happiness all around me - it just isn't fair

I can fault no one, just living their lives

Why do I ALWAYS have to be one that strives?

Just living is hard - getting dressed is a chore

Some days, I feel burned down to my very core

But, go on, because I must. There really IS NO choice

Because, if I don't, who will share your voice

And spread kindness, and hope, that came from your very core

I have to go on, since you can't, anymore

Though I question choices made on that fateful night

And so many paid the cost for a choice just not right

I will go on, and carry your banner of love

Until one day we meet, again, up above

And we hug, say "I love you", and kiss you on MY spot

And we go on, together, the eternity we've got

To play with the "babies", you've been with all this time

Admit, at times was jealous; but will be able to climb

And run and frolic in the meadows of gold

With no fear of being alone, or just growing old

My job will be done, but it isn't quite done yet

So I will keep persevering, until with you, I get

Connie R Jordan...
I love you, and miss you, Poetry Hope Dotson!!! 032089-042410
Aunt Connie... and Motion
(Written between March 20, 2018-April 12, 2019)