Aug. 3, 2020

Insert "What if" at the beginning of each of these statements. 

...I would've realized when they degraded me when we were dating, that it wouldn't stop after we were married? 

...I had stopped them in their tracks, when they stepped up to hit me, that first time?

...I had called them on it, when I knew they lied about where they were, that night?

...I had spoken up, and told my family the truth, when they first started asking questions? 

...I had explained to my employer about them, earlier - would I still have that job I loved?

...I had moved out of the way quicker - would I have had a live delivery?

...I had left sooner, would I still have my beloved dog, "Rusty"?

...I had moved faster, would my son/daughter not be in the hospital with broken ribs?

...I could make a difference in someone else's life, by honestly sharing MY story?

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

Jul. 27, 2020

Do you have scars from previous, or current relationships, either physical, emotional, or mental?

Domestic Violence leaves people exposed and bleeding - literally, and figuratively. 

You have to decide, yes make the choice, to wear your scars proudly - otherwise, they will slowly eat away at you until you DO disappear. 

While I'm not proud of the source of some of my physical scars, I am a former self-mutilator; they prove I am a Survivor, and have lived to tell the tale. They have become a sort of Badge of Honor.

Your scars are part of your very being, your story - ain't no shame to your game - YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. 

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

Jul. 20, 2020

To say our current times are "Tense", is a gross understatement. 

Whether you're like me - a single woman, with a cat, to a "nuclear" family of 4, plus. 

If you're a "Business Professional" to "Blue Collar", from "Essential" to "Currently Seeking Employment"; even extending from whatever Ethnicity/Race you are, and including your overall Financial Status.

Our current situation is tense!!!

Now, if you factor Domestic Violence into that equation, you've got a "Powder Keg", ready to go off at the slightest provocation. 

Through my job in retail, I observe things a lot of people don't get to see. The good, the bad, and the ugly...on a daily basis. 

I try to take the opportunity to "see" people, and to encourage them with a look, or a nod. If I can safely get in an encouraging word, I do. 

I've always said, if people treat their partner/children badly in public - at home is usually 10 times worse!!! 

These times are going to last awhile. Schools, and public forums, are where a lot of abuse is usually recognized, and reported. 

It's even more important, now, that if you see something during your interactions with people, to say something. It, literally, could save a life. 

Please pay attention - your "people" ARE YOUR business!!!

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

Jul. 13, 2020

Do others' opinions matter to you? How about regarding your cooking, or how you keep house? Yeah, your feel-bads may get hurt a little; but you get over it.

How your partner treats you? Whoa - I've noticed, that one usually gets a really big pushback. I wonder why that is? Generational training? Pride? Fear?

When people see someone disrespecting their partner, in ANY way, they feel major discomfort; but a lot of the time, they don't feel they have a right to say anything. "It's none of my business..." - "I don't want to embarrass them..." - "What if I am wrong??!"

I ask you the biggest question - what if you're right??! Domestic Violence can kill!!!

It seems, every time I watch the news, some idiot has killed their whole family, then turned the weapon on themselves. Why??!

Because, sometimes, people don't open their mouths. I do understand the flipside of this, also; but...

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

Jul. 7, 2020

You've been married nearly 40 years. You find out, through a myriad of circumstances (in the midst of a major medical situation) that your spouse has been having multiple affairs all this time. You have also lived through years of mental and emotional abuse, as a direct result of their guilt, from their improprieties.

They come to you in the hospital, and tell you a person halfway across the country is going to call them out, if they don't pay them a sum of money. 

Crossroads, right??!

They know how much THEY need you - but, YOU know how much you need them - as twisted as it sounds.

What do you do?

If you were the person in my example, terrified of trying to start a new life, that late in life, you would remember the vows you took. Honoring that commitment would get you through the next, nearly 30 years, you had left with them. Some things did change - but the Narcissism never completely disappeared. 

Not everyone could make this choice. Right, or wrong, this was the choice that WAS made, and lived until the day they each died a natural death, and on. 

NOBODY deserves to be abused. But choices are made, every day, to stay in the Domestic Violence situation. Unfortunately, not all situations end this seemingly clean-cut.

If you're in a Domestic Violence situation, currently - you're making choices every day. If you can live with the choices you make, more power to you. You just "gotta know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em...". Every situation IS different. 

Have a good day, and be safe...