Feb. 4, 2020

Who Comes First? Who Should??! (Connie J...)

This is a question I have battled for years. I still don't know that I really know the answer. I just know the feelings I have, from not being chosen by my Mother, over my Father's needs (and often, her own). (*Disclaimer - this is not just an "I hate my parents" rant. I really am processing this, as I write.)

I don't hate her - she's gone - and I loved her with my whole heart. I know she loved me, and "did the best she could"; and my Father and I, before he passed, worked our issues as far as he was willing and able to go.

But I feel I am left holding the bag, if you will; and have to process MY feelings, and answer this question, for myself.

I do understand, there must be a balance, because after the kids are gone - if there's no relationship between the parents - well, I've seen marriages implode. But, that's out of my wheelhouse, honestly.

I was one of the ones left behind, although I WAS left in the hands of reliable caregivers, overall. My Seester, and my Grandmother took care of me.

But my parents, who children are created to rely on, took advantage of the fact that they DID have such reliable backup. Between my Father's Public Accounting Business, and their "Community Organizations" involvement - there was a lot of time spent away from their family. We all were left lacking; because even when they were home, things weren't necessarily great.

So, I believe, based on my feelings, that the children should come first - with the parent's love balancing out the triangle. It all matters.

This is only the beginning of my process, so will let it lay for awhile.

What are YOUR feelings on this topic? There is so much gray, it seems...

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV