Cross-Postings www.ozerministriesinc.com

Feb. 24, 2021

If you are in a Domestic Violence situation, do you feel ashamed of it?

There has been a good bit of discussion, lately about the question, "Why didn't they just leave?" Now, you and I both know that should be flipped to, "Why did the perpetrator feel the freedom to abuse?"

Since the beginning of time, the Victim has, more often than not, been the one to have to prove all the details; while the perpetrator basically stands there with their mouth hanging open, saying, "What is the problem??!" They feel entitled to their feelings, and actions. You cannot even make this stuff up!!!

One thing I have made my personal goal, is to help empower the Victim to tap into their own strength to change their situation. I DO understand there is more involved; but "every journey starts with a single step."

Step one in tapping into that power is putting the responsibility behind that shame where it belongs - with the person/persons that started your shame journey. Do you even know when it started?

For example - mine started as a small child, when I was sexually abused - I believe it started in my crib (only vague flashbacks, no specifics); and was reinforced over and over, as my true feelings about virtually EVERYTHING got pushed further and further inside.

I've spent the last 30 years, flipping my shame, and empowering myself. I do still get triggered, periodically; but that doesn't mean my progress is null. I just consider myself proof that the process DOES work.

Remember, if you don't start the process, it will NEVER work. Take that first step, and start to "rein in your shame" - even if you don't believe you can, I do; and I am not the only one that believes in you. Start somewhere...

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE  www.ozerministriesinc.com #EtSoV #walkinTHEIRshoes

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, that makes the difference? #walkinTHEIRshoes

*I will be sharing a "What If..." post on the first Monday, of every month. I would love to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net. 

Feb. 15, 2021

I had a situation happen, recently, where someone made a comment, "That riding cart is moving so slow, because you're too fat for it."

I turned around, glared at him, and said, "You will NEVER speak to me, that way, again!!! I NEVER want to hear ANYTHING like that out of your face, to anyone!!!"

This person isn't even an acquaintance; let alone, a person who would even come close to speaking to me that way!!! I wouldn't even let my own Father!!! This guy had said similarly inappropriate things to a friend, previously.

I, of course, have not always been this way. For example, within the last year, someone triggered me, and I shrank back, and let him get to me. So, in that respect, I am happy for the obvious growth.

That's how it works, with the healing process. You find out, through every trigger, how strong you REALLY are; and grow into your truth.

I wish the process was easier; but as Daryl once told me, "The process IS the process...". It's what you do with it it, that matters.

One thing I do practice every day, is gratitude for who I am, and who I am becoming. You cannot change the past - only learn and grow from it.

I wish you continued truth in your life. Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE  www.ozerministriesinc.com #EtSoV  #walkinTHEIRshoes

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, that makes the difference? #walkinTHEIRshoes

*I will be sharing a "What If..." post on the first Monday, of every month. I would love to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net. 

Feb. 10, 2021

(Original posting at www.ozerministriesinc.com 020821)

 

Does your presence make a difference? Do you feel like you belong where you are? 

Did you know that if you're not seeking to make yourself a priority, and let what YOU need matter, that you cannot effectively help anyone else? 

Sure, you can go through the motions, and you and those around you will survive - but are y'all thriving? Are you living your life, or just getting through it? 

People often think, especially in Domestic Violence situations, that if they can do all the right things, and put their needs waaaay on the back burner, that they will cause a change in their family dynamics; and it will cause the DV to stop. Unfortunately, unless the abuser wants to make changes, you ignoring what you need will not really change anything. 

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE www.ozerministriesinc.com #EtSoV #walkinTHEIRshoes  

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, that makes the difference? #walkinTHEIRshoes 

*I will be sharing a "What If..." post on the first Monday, of every month. I would love to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net. 

Feb. 1, 2021

...I would've had my own phone, instead of one on his plan, could I have gotten away?

...I had just let him have his buddies come for a Super Bowl party?

...his team would have won?

...I had just sent the kids to my Mother's during the game?

...those wings wouldn't have burned?

...I had just said, "Ok", and not fought him on everything?

...I could just be a good wife and Mother, like MY Mother?

...I had paid more attention, and seen the reality when I was growing up - and told someone?

...I wasn't such a screw-up?

...I don't make changes? Is it too late to change things for my kids?

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, that makes the difference? #walkinTHEIRshoes

*I will be sharing a "What If..." post on the first Monday, of every month. I would love to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net. 

Jan. 18, 2021

Many movies portray those "Pie in the Sky", huge, EPIPHANOUS moments, that make everyone around say, "Wow!!! That's amazing!!!", etc. 

But, in real-life, how often do we get those??! I've had a few; but they're far and few between. You??! 

Having always been a noticer, fascinated by those little things; someone once said to me, "When you say you say things like, 'I can't believe this person is in my life", etc; how do you think that makes (insert name here) feel?" 

That had an impact on me. It was after I read, in "The Gifts of Imperfection" (by Brene' Brown), about a similar story, that it hit me. Since that moment, in the early 80s, I had been making myself even "smaller" than I felt, before. WHAT??! Shall we say my self-esteem had NEVER been my strong-suit??! 

Now, I realize, there is NO need for me to be all "grandiose" about every little thing I feel; but I should NEVER let anything anyone else says me make me feel "smaller". 

My natural motivation IS encouragement, support, etc; but it isn't always "pretty". There are hard, honest conversations that need to happen, periodically; and when they can't, the relationship suffers. I have had this happen many times - letting myself feel smaller, yet again.

But, that's for another post. I will leave you with this - never stop noticing...honestly share what you see, when you can. Never stop being the amazing you, that you are... 

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE www.ozerministriesinc.com #EtSoV #walkinTHEIRshoes

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, that makes the difference? #walkinTHEIRshoes

*I will be sharing a "What If..." post on the first Monday, of every month. I would love to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.