Jan. 13, 2020

I was raised by a very wounded man, that never grew out of his hurt from his childhood, on.  I choose to live my life, differently. I have no children - didn't even get a dog, til I was 40, and was finally able to share myself with another being.

I once lived with a Friend, and their 2 small children, for 13 years, until we parted ways. It was definitely a learning experience. When we would fight, at first, I would just kind of "scream my piece", then leave the room. One time, I thought I was going to have to ask for help out of my room, because I slammed the door so hard, it almost came all the way into my room. (I didn't - can you imagine how embarrassing??!) I really grew from those 13 years, and learned a lot about relationship. Not "lovey dovey-type"; just in general, how people should treat each other - even in Friendship.

I have learned how important honest communication is, over the years; but sometimes, when I get hurt, old tapes just play in my head - "Why was I not important enough?", "Are they REALLY my Friend?", etc. Yes, it can happen THAT fast!!!

I try to look at the situation, logically. I recently had the epiphany (again); "How big of a priority do I make myself??!" "Are my reactive feelings just a reflection of how I AM treating myself?" Remember, I have been on a quest for myself, particularly after losing my Mother; and I've not arrived at perfection, yet.

I was raised in a Domestic Violence situation. I am not alone in this; but it does give me insight. When someone hurts my feelings, or chooses something/someone over me, how do I react? "Should I BE a first choice?" "Should my children come first?" These are questions I think anyone in that situation would ask themselves.

My Mother usually chose my Father - I have been working on this, for awhile, and I know she did the best she could; but should we kids have been a bigger priority? I know SHE should have.

Remember, if your "Airplane of  Life" is going down, put YOUR "oxygen mask" on first!!!

I have not exhausted this topic; but I hope I have given you something to think about, especially if you are involved in a Domestic Violence situation.

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

Jan. 7, 2020

"verb (used with object), par·a·lyzed, par·a·lyz·ing. to affect with paralysis. to bring to a condition of helpless stoppage, inactivity, or inability to act." (Googled definition)

Recently, a situation happened in my small town involving someone's pet, making an official police press release necessary, regarding it.

I heard about it, on Facebook,  yesterday; and I have been more aware of my fear, ever since. I have watched SVU, and other shows; and just from that, alone, I know how things can escalate.

When you are in a Domestic Violence situation, I think there is even more fear involved, daily; and sometimes, there IS a type of paralysis mindset.

In order to break that fear-paralysis, you must acknowledge and face it, so the power it has over you begins to lessen.

My thots for you in this new year, are that you use your fears, though intended to keep you down, to help you rise to overcome ANY adversaries.

Remember, you are only kept down, if you allow yourself to be.

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV

Dec. 30, 2019

Do you ever feel hopeless? Like NOTHING you do is right; and there's no use even trying to hope for your life to take something other than the "downward spiral" it's currently on?

I just want to remind you that the power, AND hope, IS inside you just waiting for you to access it!!!

I honestly believe it's THAT "hope for something different" that has brought you this far - don't you think??!

You DO have the power to change your course - it isn't easy; but you are the only one that can.

Let the hope that is inside you "take the wheel" for awhile, and watch what happens. It may not look different, at first; but one day, you will look back, and the changes will have happened so subtly, hopefully, it will make you laugh!!!

We, all those involved with Ozer Ministries, Inc., wish you a SAFE, and happy, hopeful New Year.

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV  

Dec. 16, 2019

Well, it's a new day, a new week. I wonder what mood he'll be in, when he gets home from work, today??!

I never know, anymore.

Last week ended badly. I didn't mean to overcook his steak. I surely didn't deserve to be treated THAT way...and in front of the kids??!

Everyone is always telling me how "charming" he is. His business constituents just rave about his accomplishments, and how his skills are pushing their business forward, faster than they could've imagined.

Yet, at home, they don't see the monster he is. We may have to put the dog down, eventually, after that last confrontation. The kids will be so devastated.

Why can't people see the "real him"??! If I say anything, people will just think I didn't get the gift I wanted, or I am just ungrateful for the life he's provided. I DID come from the "wrong side of the tracks", you know; but do I only deserve whatever "bone" he throws me (or throws at me??!)?

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV

Dec. 9, 2019

Christmas gatherings...caroling...Christmas shopping...the list goes on.

Some of these are not my favorite things, I admit; but I have a choice whether to attend, or not.

Often, in a Domestic Violence situation, these options are not always readily available.

Victims are often kept away from their families, and social engagements by their significant other either forbidding them to attend, or their actions deter the victim from participating (if they DO go, there will be some type of "fall-out" they will have to endure), so they just don't go.

All about the power and control, and manipulation the perpetrator has over the Victim.

It is possible to overcome this - but it's not easy, and can even be dangerous.

Choices must be made, and stuck to - which also, is not easy.

Just keep in mind, and observe over the Holidays, especially, that one person that may seem "antisocial" - is there more going on?

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV