Jun. 2, 2020

...vs relating to judge...


Some people are so narrow-minded, that when they hear someone they know was involved in a Domestic Violence situation; they stop the conversation dead with, "Why didn't you just leave??!"

However, if you listen to them talk about most of the situations in their own lives, they have a repertoire of "quips in their quiver", to pull out and aim at any situation that makes them feel the least bit uncomfortable. 

We need to learn to/encourage to be comfortable (and real) IN the uncomfortable - learn to have those hard conversations. These are the skills I want in MY quiver. 

THAT is how we can make change...

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

May. 30, 2020

Who knew, when the theme for this year's Art Exhibit, "Behind the Mask", was announced - how spot-on it would be??!

Now, my question for you, is, "What is behind YOUR mask?" What's happened in your life, to make you the person you are, today?

I'm of the belief that everything, both positive AND negative, helps to form us via the choices we make.

Bad things happen to"good people", and good things happen to "bad people"; this is just the way life is.

It's what you do with all this, that makes the difference. For example, not everyone that was abused or grew up in Domestic Violence perpetuates this cycle. Choices are made to break that cycle.

We would be interested to hear any feedback on this topic; and please save the date, and come out and attend our Exhibit. Maybe even submit an Art piece?

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

May. 21, 2020

The purpose of all I write, is to support, and inform people.

The purpose of Domestic Violence? This question is always running in the background of my brain. 

The purpose of something becomes what WE make it. Something intended for evil, to break someone down; with time, healing, and determination - can possibly lift them to unbelievable heights. 

Our response determines the outcome. Now, I'm not so naive to believe that bad things can't happen - but every choice that is made CAN make a difference. 

Each situation is different, and all factors must be taken into consideration, when decisions are made. 

The bigger picture should be considered - if NO changes are made, NOTHING will change. The perpetrator sure doesn't want things to change - they've got absolute control (or so they feel).

Remember Domestic Violence, or ANY of your abuse, is NOT your fault - but what is your PURPOSE in it? If you're unable to grow IN it, how can you grow FROM it??!

Have a good day, and be safe...


May. 16, 2020

(Image from Facebook)

Imagine being locked up with an elephant. 

I don't know how much you know about them, but they CAN be some of the most gentle animals on the planet. Ever watched those Momma/Baby elephant videos on YouTube? "Awwwww..."

Now, think about the videos of elephants that have gone rogue. Not so much, "Awwwww...", huh??!

That is how, in a Domestic Violence situation, a Victim feels they are living - with a Narcissistic elephant.

Never knowing if they're going to be kind, or a bit rogue - walking on eggshells, all the time, because they never know when they're going to go off. 

It's even harder, during this pandemic, when many victims are on lockdown with their abusers - stress of things like job loss, etc, only exacerbates their feelings of inadequacy, self-pity, etc.

Narcissists, who have never worked on any of their issues, because they don't think they have any because everythin has been done "to" them. 

They don't understand, or care, that their version of "paying it forward", is only perpetuating their situation. 

They don't see that they're only recycling what has been done "to" them. 

Have a good day, and be safe... #EtSoV #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE 






Apr. 27, 2020

From Daryl: Client sent me a quote. "No one gets more upset than a narcissist being accused of something they definitely did!" True!!!

 How can you overcome a Narcissist's taunts? It isn't easy. You have to reach deep inside of you, and take ahold of the power - though deep inside, it's there - and utilize it to help battle against them. 

 The biggest, and I think most effective defense, is your silence. Believe me, when I feel myself, or someone I care about (like your children, for example) under attack - keeping my mouth shut is NOT an easy task.

 In cases where silence is not an option - your best defense is only speaking words of truth. If you only have a few words to speak - speak them!!! Over and over. 

 Examples could be - "You hit me." "You lied to me, and my family." "You went to my job so many times, they fired me, so they didn't have to deal with YOU." You have plenty to share, I am sure.

 WHATEVER your truth is, speak it. Using Wheel of Fortune, as an example - numerous people have lost their games, because they put in extra words. Use as few words, as necessary, to express your truth. Try to avoid giving them more to attack you with. 

 Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV